Friday, 13 March 2009

Doctor Jocular and Mister Snyde

P Do you know what is really funny? A dry plum telling jokes!
P Or you could go here...

Pound Cake

P This is the only cake that I know how to make, but I do know how to make it; so here’s the recipe.
P That’s right, a recipe. I did say there would be recipes... didn’t I?
P Moving on.
P You shall need the same amount (weight) of flour, eggs, butter and sugar. I find it is best to first weigh the eggs to know how much of everything else you will need. The size of this culinary endeavour I leave to your best judgement (also, I hereby declare that I take responsibility for nothing at all whatsoever).
P Select a suitably sized, microwave-safe bowl. Throw the butter in and mash it a bit with a wooden spoon. If you have just taken it out of the fridge it will be a bit tough, so break it into a few chunks; throw in the the flour and mix it in a bit, then put the bowl in the microwave for about twenty seconds (don’t forget to turn it on).
P You will notice the contents of the bowl are now much more pliable. Stir them for a while and then start adding the sugar in small portions, mixing it in as you go.
P When you have turned all of the butter, flour, and sugar into a more-or-less homogeneous mix, you may add the first egg (without the shell). Mix it in until you can’t tell any bits of yolk or albumen from the rest. Add the other eggs one at a time in this fashion until they are all in, and make sure to stir until there are no lumps, however minute they may be. It is at this time that you might want to add raisins, or berries of some sort, or any sort of fruit, really, as long as there are no excessively large bits; I am especially fond of freshly picked blackberries, but they can be difficult to procure; be creative, is my advice.
P Now that you have the prospective cake ready, it is time to bake it. Select a suitable pan or form (shape is up to you), rub the inside thoroughly with butter, give it a light dusting of flour and then pour in the dough. Put it in the very centre of the oven at 160ºC and wait until it turns golden, then stick something slender in it (seriously): if it looks as though your cake is still “wet” inside then it is not done. Keep probing every five minutes and be careful not to leave it in for too long or it will become unpleasantly dry. After it has cooled, turn the form upside down over a clean dishcloth and tap lightly until your work of art comes off.
P And there you go, you have a pound cake.
P Bon appétit.

What Are Those Interregnum Chronicles Of Which You Speak?

P Yes, well. On the fifth of October 1910 (the very date makes me shudder) a great monstrosity took place: a republic was imposed upon my country. Now, I am one of precious few who still resist the brainwashing tendencies of mainstream thought, and it is not easy. Being a monarchist (not the same as a royalist) in Portugal nowadays is very unusual, and we are not treated politely when we come out of the garderobe, so to speak (“You’re a what?”; “Have you no shame?”; “Now, don’t be silly, you silly person.”; “Oh, I’m sure he’ll grow out of it, Mrs L.”; woe be me...). And all this just for having beliefs that’ve been out of fashion for almost a century. Well, I’m sorry if I’m not a fashion victim (I am not sorry).
P It is thus that I stand up proudly and say, Yes, I’m a monarchist, and no, I have no shame.
P And I shall not be put down.

The Beginning of Something... Bloggish

P The idea of a blog has been fluttering about this room of mine for a while now (ideas flutter, you know – and this one also speaks: ‘A blog,’ quoth the idea upon my chamber door...), but alas, I knew not about what to blog... until, a few days ago, the idea struck me (they do that, too) to write about politics, and society, and recipes, and pets, and stuff. ‘Tis not much of an epiphany, I know, but together with circumstance it finally made me do it: recent intimate contact with blogging (doesn't this sound silly), together with finding in advance I would have a Friday to myself (always a dangerous thing, when my mind starts to wander – and she does call on all sorts of interesting ideas when she goes out) and that it would be the thirteenth – well, I just had to do something (that this something should be starting a blog says a bit about me, I suppose).
P So here’s a blog. I hope I like it – and I do hope you like it too, whoever you are (welcome, by the way).
P Here goes...